Sacred Life Sunday - Remembering Taos

Entries from my journal

8-1-07 Wednesday's extended 3 hour writing time
9:15am - I'm listening to classical music as I would at home (with shoes off and water nearby) in the comfy chair I first sat and wrote in upon my arrival a day early on Friday ... which seems like more than just four days ago. Nearby, I have my notes from Suzanne's brief "writing set" for today shared a half hour ago in the dining room after a delicious breakfast and of course all my notes from the sessions and councils to keep me centered and focused.

This morning's meditative walk at 7am was as delicious as the meals and inspiring as the interactions with other writers here this week. I took many pictures ... so many that the memory card is full. I've exchanged it for an empty one, and I've taken some candid shots in the past half hour of writers at work on the way back to my room to retrieve my writing supplies and handy canvas bag I purchased in Red River on the Enchanted Circle Drive just before the retreat began.

Leaving Mabel Dodge Luhan grounds

Suzanne set a swift pace.

Colorful commemorative
floral displays along the roadside

and at grave sites in this cemetery.

A first glimpse of our destination.

Standing in this sacred place,
I noticed stones placed by previous visitors
perhaps in remembrance as some would light candles.

Returning, I focused on a series of
stone crosses along the path like this one.

What a glorious morning
and beautiful morning walk!

The textures of this fence

and this stone wall

(from another perspective)

the beautiful trees overhanging the road

unique homes

and this fence

each drew my camera.

Today's thought in the Big Room says "Give 'til it feels good" ... and I realize the photos I'm talking will make a wonderful email gift to everyone once I return home. I hope others will share their photos also.

I want to remember L's feedback on my photography ... and savor her invitation to take a "photo trip" together some time. She liked "the flow of the way I shoot pictures" ... saying it was similar to her own process. I am grateful. I feel authentically valued because I've seen her pictures and they're AMAZING! I don't believe I'm in her league -- but I'm flattered all the same and trying to let those feelings in and savor them.

Later after creating a few graphic pieces I continue:
I'm grateful for the comfortable chair and the inspirational music, though I miss writing outdoors. It's so beautiful and peaceful here. I'm wishing I had eaten less and hoping the feeling of fullness will pass quickly. Interestingly, my heart feels full also, and I'm grateful for this longer expanse of writing time this morning ... though I'm not sure where it will take me.

"Nothing forced ... nothing held back" ... allowing what comes to show up and surprise me. These feel like blessings too.

The soft chair and gentle music complement the warm roughly hewn spiral wooden column in front of me supporting the wooden beam of the ceiling. The odd shaped doorways, small and low enough to make me bow as I pass through them, add to the ambiance.

11:28am - I've returned to my journal after creating a few more "graphic free-writes" in my sketchbook, and am looking again at the opening pages of this journal ... written back in April.

Distracted by the delicious smells of baking fill the room, tantalizingly ... I'm reminded of the earlier startling smell of smoke coming from M as she took a cigarette break outside in the courtyard about a half hour ago ... and that bringing up vivid memories of life with G all those years ago. I don't understand why people smoke and probably never will, though as I write this I remember S once shared it as "the ultimate act of intimacy with himself" going on to explain the total self-absorption smoking generates ... but I don't choose to dwell on that now.

Choosing to shift gears ...
What keeps me from writing and submitting stories to Guideposts, Readers Digest, the Chicken Soup series and the like?

Excellent question V. What are you waiting for?

Wait -- I asked first! Isn't this cheating to take advantage of me in this manner?

By what rules?

I feel sleepy.

Avoidance?

Maybe, although it's possible I'm actually weary from the late hour of evening sessions, the intensity of morning and afternoon sessions, the wonderful interactions with others, my early rising (as always around 3 or 4 am) seriously cutting into sleep time, writing so long this morning ... especially since I walked yesterday for more the 5 hours and again this morning AND I ate a bit too much at breakfast.

Excuses?

If you think so. Well, I do have doubts that anyone would be interested enough to read what I write.

Self doubt limits you and robs everyone else.

11:45am
C just passed through and invited me to join her and Suzanne in the pergola at noon for a reading. I think I'll go because I'm anything but hungry.

Looking out the window, I notice many butterflies flitting from flower to flower ... and it occurs to me that in addition to suggesting TRANSFORMATION, butterflies mimic or MIRROR my distractibility and varied interests. Choosing that symbol for my "no nametag" introduction here may have multiple implications for me to think about.

I can't help but laugh. This afternoon's session is about "Coming Out Of Hiding" ... how perfect!

Saturday's Scent

This Azalea blooms in my yard currently.
The scent of the
FLOWER
is carried by the wind,
only going where the wind blows.
But your virtue
RADIATES
in all directions,
touching everything.
Daniel Levin

Haiku Friday - Volume 2

New Year beginning,
to share with a genuine
voice of my choosing.

Who would have guessed that
after all these years I would
come out of hiding?

Once "a nonny mouse"
this storyteller revealed
the truth by surprise.

Sharing a graphic
piece in a bold move without
pausing and thinking...

just what might happen
when readers clicked the image.
Ignorance is bliss.

Thus was I "outed"
and truth be told now, it is
fine. No one perished.

A new lease on life
as a writer the freedom
to share and be known.

Thanks for your feedback
and gentle encouragement.
My hugs and blessings.

Haiku Friday Volume 1 is at Small Reflections.

Revisiting January 2000 Journal Entries or Conversations with Myself

"Only through emotions can you encounter the force field of your own soul." Gary Zukav

1-1-2000
Picking up CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD - Book 2 by Neale Donald Walsch and reviewing Chapter 9 on education, I'm reminded that I have emphasized VALUES and CHARACTER over FACTS ... and continue to do so. In fact, my emphasis is (and has been) on AWARENESS, HONESTY, and RESPONSIBILITY ... and I have faced multiple challenges from students and parents quite courageously with an open heart.

Yes you have.

I've met parents who were exceedingly supportive and grateful for what I was trying to accomplish.

And you've learned many important things about yourself and others in addition to how things work.

Yes .. especially about being careful what I ask for and focus upon ... also about how what I resist persists. These experiences have changed me and opened my heart to remembrances and ways of being that I thought had been drummed out of me ... so I know of our Divine Partnership and I'm grateful for your compassionate forgiveness and infinite patience with me ... and with others. I'm ready to do as Gary Zukav suggests:

"Take your hands off the steering wheel. Be able to say to the Universe, 'Thy will be done,' and to know it within your intentions."

I've been here before ... over and over ... and though I sometimes forget in the midst of the craziness which inevitably follows such a declaration, I also know with certainty ... I am never alone. None of us is ever alone and we are each blessed by the ties that bind us in love. It's helpful to keep that in mind.

"Fear tells you, 'I want to make you safe.'
Love says, 'you ARE safe.'
Fear would walk you on a narrow path.
Love says, 'Open your arms and fly with me.'"
Emmanuel Book II

1-2-2000
Reading from Philip Yancey's book, THE BIBLE JESUS READ, I'm surprised at his assertion that people don't know what's in the Old Testament ... can't even get any of the Ten Commandments right, in fact substitute other ideas for them ... yet on the other hand, I realize that this could true ... for even though I've actually READ the entire Bible several times from cover to cover, I haven't committed many verses to memory as some people do. I do return to it regularly for guidance. Might this be what God wants us all to do ... revisit the history of human interactions with the Divine as told in story?

1-3-2000 Review IV - A COURSE IN MIRACLES
Lesson 121 - "Forgiveness is the key to happiness."
Lesson 122 - "Forgiveness offers everything I want."
Lesson 123 - "I thank my Father for His gifts to me."
Lesson 124 - "Let me remember I am one with God."
Lesson 125 - "In quiet I receive God's word today."
Lesson 126 - "All that I give is given to myself."
Lesson 127 - "There is no love but God's."
Lesson 128 - "The world I see holds nothing I want."
Lesson 129 - "Beyond this world is a world I want."
Lesson 130 - "It is impossible to see two worlds."
Lesson 131 - "No one can fail who seeks to reach the truth."
Lesson 132 - "I loose the world from all I thought it was."
Lesson 133 - "I will not value what is valueless."
Lesson 134 -"Let me perceive forgiveness as it is."
Lesson 135 - "If I defend myself I am attacked."
Lesson 136 - "Sickness is a defense against the truth."
Lesson 137 - "When I am healed I am not healed alone."
Lesson 138 - "Heaven is a decision I must make."
Lesson 139 - "I will accept At-one-ment for myself."
Lesson 140 - "Only salvation can be said to cure."

How interesting to read these reminders. The meaning of the terms have shifted with a willingness over time to to alter my perception and look for miracles in everyday happenings. I recognize how I've grown in the last decade by reframing my experiences. I see how I've risked courageously time and again. Through facing and embracing fears, I've watched them dissipate. My awareness of how things are and might be, expand continuously. Amazing bit of grace. Blessed Be

"Do not insist that the Universe comply with your understanding of it." Gary Zukav

1-3-2000
How amazing
to see a glimpse
of who I am
juxtaposed upon
who I was (and who I'm becoming)
... to realize
the only one judging me
is me
the only one limiting me ... is also ME.

I stand in my own way
and keep myself from doing
what I'd love to do
because I'm AFRAID
people won't like what I have to offer
even when faced with evidence to the contrary
for it's ME who finds myself wanting ...
falling short of expectation.

Others see me as
and overachieving dynamo
someone who does so much more
reading
writing
thinking
innovative teaching
paper grading with lengthy written responses.

Yet I see the things I don't do ...
cleaning and organizing "stuph"
healthy living and regular exercise
sending off written pieces to publisher
paying attention to what I eat
no longer presenting at workshops and conferences
sharing my truth as I once did with enthusiasm and delight.

So ...
can I begin to
accept myself just as I am?

Whenever you choose, certainly.

and can I take action proactively
remaining unattached to results?

Of course ... just make it a mindful priority.

1-3-2007 - today
I've changed much in the past 7 years. I eat healthily, walk regularly, belong to a gym to do weight training for bone density, I've retired from classroom teaching and explored a wide variety of interests from trading stocks to gardening with a bunch in between. I've framed and shared my "visual poetry" with others, had a couple of poems published, and now I'm blogging. As Dr. Seuss wrote in, "Oh the Places You'll Go ... "

"And when you're alone, there's a very good chance
you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.

But on you will go
though the weather be foul
On you will go
though your enemies prowl
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.

On and on you will hike
and I know you'll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.

You'll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You'll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never  mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3 / 4 percent guaranteed.)"

KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

So ... that's where I'm headed ... to find mountains to move (or perhaps something simpler and more fun)?

Today at Small Reflections, I shared Dan Millman's 17 Laws That Change Lives taken from THE LIFE YOU WERE BORN TO LIVE as my 6th Thursday Thirteen post. As I reviewed them during the past two weeks (along with revisiting my journal from the turn of the century), the recognition of some significant differences of the past 7 years emerged, and it seemed timely to offer them to others who pass this way. So ... read them or not as you choose ... but do remember ... everything IS a choice.

Wordless Wednesday #2

Four views from my front yard
and one from Pacific Coast Highway

#1 - looking toward the ocean

#2 - looking toward the mountains away from the ocean

#3 - looking toward the Southeast

#4 - looking toward the East along PCH

#5 - my view from the front yard looking Eastward
across the street

Wordless Wednesday #1 is at Small Reflections today.

If you need words today, you'll find plenty in my 2007 review of my ten weeks in the Blogosphere and/or my thank you to my Blogging Buddies who (if they haven't done so already) are cordially invited to snag (or snarf) one (or more) of my thank you graphics (or not) as they choose.

2007 Tuesdays Review Meme (for newbies like me)

I've only been blogging for 10 weeks, so I can't pick the 1st post of each month to do the 2007 meme, but I can share 1st line from each Tuesdays post, just as I shared Mondays at Small Reflections earlier today.

Week 1 - October 23rd
Inspired by Carla's example & open invitation to participate in our own ways, I promised to begin a Sacred Life exploration once I managed to set up a blog of my own.

Week 2 - October 30th
"We need to let go of everything that no longer serves us.

Week 3 - November 6th
I'm resting today ... to recover my health ... hoping that these respiratory symptoms will pass without wreaking havoc on my body.

Week 4 - November 13th
I do my best to strive for balance.

Week 5 - November 20th
1st Post - In Carla's Sacred Sunday post this week, she wrote of EGO as "edging God out" ... something I'd heard before, but forgotten.

2nd Post - I just watched an inspirational presentation that really touched me and I wanted to share it.

Week 6 - November 27th
I found this Cherokee Story at Peajay's Blog and thought I'd share it with you here since she invited readers to pass it on.

Week 7 - December 4th
I received this in email today ... laughed out loud until my sides hurt and tears flowed ... then decided I needed to pass it along because there's just so much WISDOM here.

Week 8 - December 11th
"SUCCESS is not found in what you have achieved, but rather in WHO you have become.

Week 9 - December 18th
This snow globe plays "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire" and was a gift from my
brother.

Week 10 - December 25th

A
Merry
Christmas
to
you and yours
from me
Molly and Ms. Kitty
here in Southern California
to wherever you live.

Week 11 - January 1st
I've only been blogging for 10 weeks, so I can't pick the 1st post of each month to do the 2007 meme, but I can take 1st line from each Tuesday's post to see what happens.

Well, it looks as though I wound up with 12 entries with 11 Tuesdays (counting today, ending with the opening sentence of this post) plus a 2nd post on November 20th. So there's my 2007 review, complete with links for anyone who wants to read more. If you're a "Blogging Buddy" and haven't snagged a "thank you graphic" ... read on.

With Happy Feet, I'm dancing for joy and wishing you a Happy New Year! May 2008 bring peace, prosperity, joy and wonder to all.

Hugs and blessings from Molly, Ms Kitty and storyteller

Happy New Year's Eve and Thanks to all my Blogging Buddies here at Sacred Ruminations

Having spent several hours this morning revisiting my blogging progress at Small Reflections, I'm not ready to do that here because other activities call for my attention. I suppose I could put this off until tomorrow, but I suspect I won't have the discretionary time to devote to the task then either. Therefore, I've decided to take a more general approach now, and perhaps review here in greater detail at a later date (or not).

Initially, my intention in this space was to explore My Sacred Life following Carla's inspiring example ... as so many have done before me. For 31 days, I did just that ... finishing interestingly on Thanksgiving Day. Since then I've participated in Sacred Life Sunday. In these first ten weeks of blogging, I've written for myself as I always have, realizing that people might be reading ... but trying not to let that awareness get in the way of sharing.

In October, if memory serves, Sharon (a friend from the Taos Writer's Retreat ... otherwise known as WGASA Woman) left the first comments. She was warmly supportive and encouraging. It felt okay to be writing for myself but having someone occasionally read and comment. In November Lucy found me along with Karen (my most regular visitor to both blogs), Annie, Chani, Mother of Invention, Heart in San Francisco, Kikipotamus, Olivia, Talking Bear, His Girl Friday, Ladybug, and perhaps a few others whose names escape me as I type this.

Encouraged by their occasional affirmative comments, I felt emboldened ... yet lost focus for a while, perhaps because of participating in NaBloPoMo (30 posts in 30 days during November) and Holidailies (31 posts in 31 days of December). Throughout November, Claire, Sacred Susie, Suzann, Kathryn, Deborah, Carla, Dandelion Seeds, and Catherine visited and left comments once or twice. Recently I've regained my focus and started to share snippets of old journal entries interspersed with current writings, inspirational quotes, some links of interest, and an occasional meme.

By December Annie and Kara (returning from personal blogging retreats), Karen, Ladybug, Kikipotamus, Mama Zen, The Dream, and MP J became "regulars" ... with Chani, Eve, Melissa, Michele, Moanna, Peajay, Talking Bear, and His Girl Friday leaving a comment now and then. There may have been others whose names escape me as I type today. If so, please forgive me. You know who you are, and if you remind me I'll be happy to add your names to this post later. A few of you read both this blog and Small Reflections.

I enjoy visiting your blogs, reading your posts, and leaving comments of my own when I have time and something to say. I like to let you know I've stopped by, but I often read without commenting when time is at a premium. Likewise, it's fun to read and respond to your observations here, but I suspect that like me you don't always have time to stop and share. I appreciate it when you do, and understand when you don't. In 2008, I intend to continue my exploratory process and see where it leads.

I am happy to have encountered you all in this "virtual world" and think of you as friends. With that in mind, (and in the spirit of good-natured fun) I share with you three graphics that you may take back to your own blogs (or not) as you choose.

This
(my personal favorite, but
perhaps not yours)

This ...

Blogging Buddies Rock

And this ...

My good intentions to make this short and sweet have gone by the wayside. I can be obsessive and a bit compulsive. It seems the "perfectionist" in me won out this afternoon, perhaps because I didn't want to "slight" anyone here after spending so much time on my thank you post at Small Reflections. I value each of you, just as I value my Blogging Buddies there.

Happy New Year's Eve
one and all!

Happy 3rd birthday to Molly!!!